Top Down Living to Wholeness- How Connection Empowers
A metaphor I once used for describing myself acting forward in life was “bulldozer”. I believed that by pushing through life, big achievements would be had. In a sense it was true I had developed a successful career, was married with children and lived in a beautiful home. One day I woke up realizing despite all my achievements I had left myself behind. That by pushing through life I had missed something very important.
As an Engineer and a very logic minded person, intelligence was my strength. I relied heavily on it. I searched my mind for answers, went around and around into my thoughts. I lived from this place I would call “top down”.
My body sensations, experiences, feelings and emotions did not have a voice within me. The ones I didn’t like where most certainly pushed down or distracted away from.
“Top down” has been the traditional power model for many years. Familiar mostly in the corporate world; where management is directing, and others follow. External power is enforced and not all parties involved have a voice. This leads to disconnection and rebellion easily follows. The energy behind what is not being heard continues to build up like water behind a dam and eventually there is an unpleasant overflow.
As a project leader I’ve become aware that when using this top down approach, important details are missed, and controlling work in this way bypasses a deeper intelligence, thus the saying “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”. When we are connected and whole as either an individual, a team, a country or the world we are more creative & powerful with the ability to expand possibilities.
This translated to my own personal experience of operating solely at the level of the mind. I was missing information that was held in my body’s experience, sensations, feelings and emotions. I realized I somehow managed to bypass myself and disconnect from the things that really mattered to me. I pushed through internal boundaries, distracting from my overall experience and ended up feeling resentful towards my external life.
What I had pushed aside no longer could be ignored. I began dipping my toe into my whole experience and started to learn from unconscious wisdom held within my body. I engaged with a teacher through mindfulness practice, embodied yoga, Hakomi (a mindful and body centered psychotherapy method) and Co-Active Coaching. I learned how increased awareness and integrating other parts of the self enable a deeper connection within, creating a new and empowered way of living.
As we shift from pushing against life as way of power, to leaning into what we don’t know, opening to being vulnerable, and making space for learning, a new paradigm is possible. Whether this is from within us or out in our external world, awareness is our greatest power- from a deeper knowing to new possibilities.
Care to explore? Contact me at www.jennkozak.com/contact